A Letter to Parents | Naperville Photographer

Getting your pictures taken can be a stressful event.  You are paying good money and want good pictures.  You’ve gone shopping for the perfect outfits, have promised special treats/toys/money/blood if the kids just behave.  You’ve spent time getting ready, telling the kids over and over to NOT mess up their hair, to keep their clothes clean.  When kids are involved, parents can be a bit stressed.  It’s normal.  But kids feel the vibe, and as a photographer, I reassure parents.  “I got this,”  I tell them.  “Don’t worry about them, I got it.”  Sometimes I remove the parents from the area entirely, so the kids can relax.  Because it does not help when a parent is yelling, “don’t make that face!”  “I just want ONE nice picture!”  “Would you stop….”

Breathe.  I got this.  Put yourselves in my hands, and just trust and breathe.

Why?  Because I’m not just selling the end product.  The experience is also something important.  Let’s say we get that great picture, but the entire time was spent yelling at the kids, you stressed out, them upset.  But we still got the pictures.  Do you know what happens when you look at that gorgeous image up on your wall?  You don’t think, “wow, how beautiful.”  No, you remember the experience – how upset you were.  And your kids learn that getting their pictures taken equates to a horrible time and mom and dad mad.

Breathe.  I got this.

Now, saying all of this, I also want to say I GET IT!  Because you DO want that perfect image.  It IS important, and as the parent, you just want your kids to cooperate and smile.  I get it.  People comment all the time that I must have so many amazing pictures of my own kids.  One would think so, right?  But no.  Hardly any because I almost always fail when it comes to my own.  I can’t seem to take off my “mom hat” when photographing them.  I get stressed, I make comments like, “don’t do that fake smile”.  I ruin the “experience”, just like any parent.  I have grand ideas, but they never happen because it is just too difficult.  I need my own photographer to put me on the back burner. 😉

I came to the realization today about not being a “photographer” to my own kids during our own photo shoot today.  I limit them to twice a year for them.  And as I am directing them, I start pushing for my son to climb into this structure – something three year olds were doing.  It wasn’t a big deal.  But my son has Asperger’s.  A lot of times, I forget this about him, honestly.  And today, I was not being a photographer – whom I SHOULD have been.  I was being a stressful mom who pushed him to do something he was uncomfortable with.  It shouldn’t have been a big deal.  To any other kid, it wouldn’t have been, but it was to him.  Had he been any other client, the second I saw his hesitation, I would have said, “Never mind, let’s do this instead.”  I never would have pushed at all.  But he was my son, and I wanted that stupid picture, so I tried again, “come on, just put a foot here, and we’ll help you.”  But he was irrationally scared about it and started tearing up and getting upset.  That is when it clicked.  What was I doing??  Was getting that specific image that important?  Of course not.  Though it would have been really good, I was creating a bad experience.  He ran away from me and wouldn’t come near me for a while.  An angry meltdown, but eventually he let me apologize and hold him and tell him that I was so sorry. I’ve never been annoyed, stressed, or anything with a child I’ve photographed…unless they are my own.

So, you see, I do get it.  It doesn’t make it right, but it happens.  We all need someone to step in and say, “Breathe”  I didn’t have that person today.

But I will be that person for you.

I got this.